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Goes into a bar Options · View
Niraco
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 4:25:48 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 1
Location: United Kingdom
Mangos into a bar.

(Gotta be a joke so un-funny that it's funny d'oh! )

When people ask the question is the cup half full or half empty I reply, "If I turn on the tap I can make it full."
Dreamcatcher
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 9:42:53 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 3/15/2011
Posts: 3,084
Location: Only my friends know...
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Little Johnny fell in a mud puddle....

Lisa
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 12:37:28 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/12/2010
Posts: 1,045
laughing6

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, dammit! BREATHE!
scooter
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 6:12:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 155
Location: Lake Erie
A duck goes into a bar, takes a stool, and the bartender says; What will you have little ducky?
The duck says; got any grapes? Bartender says; No duck, this is a bar, we serve beer, mixed drinks, that sorta thing. We don't have grapes. So the duck leaves.

Next day the duck comes back and the bartender says; What will it be duck? Got any grapes? Says the duck.
The bartender screams No duck head, I told you yesterday; we have no grapes, we sell beer and stuff.
If you come in here tomorrow asking for grapes, I'm gonna nail your little webbed feet to the floor.

The next day the duck sits and the bartender ask him; What will you have Daffy?
The duck ask: got any nails? The bartender near blows a gasket and yells "No"
So the duck says: got any grapes?
andyscribe
Posted: Monday, July 2, 2012 2:52:17 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 7/1/2012
Posts: 17
Location: United Kingdom
William Sheakspear walks into a bar.

The landlord shouts,
"get out, yer barred".

(barred/bard)
Circle_Something
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 9:10:01 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 8/11/2012
Posts: 1,965
Location: Glasgow-ish
A man walks into a bar, what does he say? OWWW!!!

Ghosts, flamingos, guitars and vodka. Don't forget Kitty and Kitten. Eclectic subjects, eccentric stories:

Humorous guide & Recommended Read =^.^= How To Make a Cup of Tea
A flash fiction series :) A Random Moment in Time
A love poem <3 Kitty & Kitten
Editors' Pick! :D I Am The Deep, Dark Woods
And another EP!: The Fragility of Age
=^.^= <3 ^.^

magnificent1rascal
Posted: Thursday, August 16, 2012 10:44:12 PM

Rank: Administration
Moderator

Joined: 10/12/2010
Posts: 2,353
Location: On the ragged edge of disaster
"Goes into a bar" jokes for grammar geeks. geek

1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

3. A question mark walks into a bar?

4. Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.

5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.

6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.


Connect with Maggie

Like my Facebook fan pages: Maggie Rascal and M.P. WitwerFriend me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/maggierascalFollow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/Maggie1Rascal
gypsy
Posted: Friday, August 17, 2012 5:17:02 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 10/13/2010
Posts: 1,649
magnificent1rascal wrote:
"Goes into a bar" jokes for grammar geeks. geek

1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

3. A question mark walks into a bar?

4. Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.

5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.

6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.


laughing8

A period walks into a bar and all conversation comes to a full stop.

toast

A full stop walks into a bar and a man tries to pick her up. She tells him: "I'm not into men - period."

Not talking

A period walks into a bar and requests a glass of wine from the bartender. As he begins to pour the wine into a large glass he asks her how much she wants. She answers: "When it's full, stop."

3601

A full stop walks into a bar and an exclamation point says "Wow! I'll bet you come here often!" She replies: "Periodically."


L35










The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. Junius



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