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For my friend Roland.. Options · View
maryruth
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2016 2:16:33 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/3/2014
Posts: 717
hummmmmm
what is the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?????

snowballs.........
maryruth
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2016 2:20:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/3/2014
Posts: 717
why do cows wear bells?????

their horns don't work.
rolandlytle
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2016 9:45:57 PM

Rank: Forum Guru
Moderator

Joined: 1/14/2013
Posts: 1,699
Location: Chicago area, United States
Very good Mary Ruth

You can't get there from here, because when you get there you're still here and here is now there.
gillianleeza
Posted: Tuesday, May 3, 2016 2:23:32 PM

Rank: Story Moderator
Moderator

Joined: 11/25/2015
Posts: 677
Location: Sailing on the Bay, United States
rolandlytle
Posted: Tuesday, May 3, 2016 3:24:47 PM

Rank: Forum Guru
Moderator

Joined: 1/14/2013
Posts: 1,699
Location: Chicago area, United States
gillianleeza wrote:


Do not like cheese like that, but if that is pizza, then you really do get me!

You can't get there from here, because when you get there you're still here and here is now there.
rolandlytle
Posted: Friday, May 13, 2016 11:57:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru
Moderator

Joined: 1/14/2013
Posts: 1,699
Location: Chicago area, United States
I guess like a bad wine that one lacked a full body.

You can't get there from here, because when you get there you're still here and here is now there.
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, June 28, 2016 1:22:43 PM

Rank: Rest in Peace

Joined: 10/12/2010
Posts: 3,402
Location: Earth, for now..., United States
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and asks for the octopus. The waiter says; 'Ok, but it takes 8 hours to cook'. When the man asks; 'Why does it take so long'. The waiter replies; 'because it keeps turning the gas off''

I once knew a drinker who had a moderating problem...

Dreamcatcher
Posted: Wednesday, August 3, 2016 6:47:14 PM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 3/15/2011
Posts: 3,043
Location: Only my friends know...
After a full night of drinking and partying, Amos naturally got in his car to drive home. Weaving and curving all over the road, he got pulled over by a patrolman. He ordered Amos to get out of the car and provide his ID. When he got out the patrolman said, "Hey, you're staggering." Amos turned to the patrolman and said, "Why thanks. You're not so bad yourself!"

rolandlytle
Posted: Monday, August 8, 2016 7:15:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru
Moderator

Joined: 1/14/2013
Posts: 1,699
Location: Chicago area, United States
Thank you Alan. You are in need of serious help. Can I come too?

You can't get there from here, because when you get there you're still here and here is now there.
elizabethblack
Posted: Thursday, August 31, 2017 5:16:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/12/2014
Posts: 1,130
Hoping that each day is a wondrous thing.




meredith
Posted: Saturday, September 2, 2017 4:27:25 PM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 1,992
Location: Southern Indiana, United States
One night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started in the local chemical plant. In a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the volunteer fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.

Soon more fire departments were called as the situation became desperate. As firemen arrived, the president shouted out the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

A lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian Rural Township Volunteer Fire Company, composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant.

Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, other firemen watched as Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides ... a performance and effort never seen before!

In a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. The grateful company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!



"Them ain't no militia, that's the Army of the Potomac!"

elizabethblack
Posted: Sunday, September 3, 2017 1:16:59 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/12/2014
Posts: 1,130


elizabethblack
Posted: Sunday, September 3, 2017 1:18:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/12/2014
Posts: 1,130


elizabethblack
Posted: Monday, November 27, 2017 7:05:39 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/12/2014
Posts: 1,130
Thanksgiving dinner is over, but the left overs will be around a while - and that is a good thing.






meredith
Posted: Monday, December 4, 2017 4:35:54 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 1,992
Location: Southern Indiana, United States
An elderly couple who had just learned how to send text messages were on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her hubby a romantic text message and so she got out her phone and typed:

"If you are sleeping send me your dreams. If you are laughing send me your smile. If you are eating send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying send me your tears."

The husband texted back to her, "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."


"Them ain't no militia, that's the Army of the Potomac!"

elizabethblack
Posted: Thursday, December 7, 2017 4:44:56 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/12/2014
Posts: 1,130


Have a joyful time ...............

Dreamcatcher
Posted: Thursday, January 3, 2019 2:45:44 PM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 3/15/2011
Posts: 3,043
Location: Only my friends know...


elizabethblack
Posted: Thursday, January 3, 2019 7:27:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/12/2014
Posts: 1,130


Dreamcatcher
Posted: Friday, January 4, 2019 9:20:31 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 3/15/2011
Posts: 3,043
Location: Only my friends know...


Dreamcatcher
Posted: Sunday, January 6, 2019 10:43:17 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 3/15/2011
Posts: 3,043
Location: Only my friends know...


DenimAngel
Posted: Sunday, January 6, 2019 6:54:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/28/2016
Posts: 703
Location: On a tailgate under the stars



AnnaMayZing
Posted: Friday, March 22, 2019 3:41:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/1/2015
Posts: 4,874


The third part of this epic journey starts here... https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/drama/the-long-road-home-chapter-1.aspx


"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana
AnnaMayZing
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2019 11:34:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/1/2015
Posts: 4,874
I recently had the great pleasure of spending a few days in the beautiful Snowdonia National Park in North Wales.
It was whilst driving along one of those narrow country lanes that I passed a farm entrance where, beside the gate, was a stall which was stacked with all the fresh fruit, vegetables and dairy produce which one would expect in such a rural area.
Beside the stall was a hand written sign which stated:

FRESH FRUIT
FRESH VEGETABLES
PARACETAMOL


I was so surprised that I pulled in and wound down the window.
"Fresh fruit, Fresh veg and paracetamol?" I asked the earthy looking chap behind the stall.
"That's right," he replied with a strong Welsh accent.
"OK, I get the fruit and veg," I said, "But pain killers? How come?"
The old fellow stared at me seemingly offended and replied,
"Because I'm a farmer, see?"



The third part of this epic journey starts here... https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/drama/the-long-road-home-chapter-1.aspx


"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana
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