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fuzzy1954
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 7:12:41 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 9/29/2012
Posts: 1,819
Location: OZ [Prairie Village KS]



Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, “What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?”

The two guys reply, “Well, you know, we’re from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know.”

The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, “It’s awfully hot down here, can’t you guys feel that?”

Again, the guys reply, “Well, like we told you yesterday, we’re from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We’re just happy to warm up a little bit, you know.”

The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Michigan and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. “Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves.”

The two Michiganders reply, “Well, ya know, we don’t get too much warm weather up there in Michigan, we’ve just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice.”

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 Michiganders. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. “I don’t understand. When I turn the heat up, you’re happy. Now it’s freezing cold, and you’re happy. What is wrong with you two?”

The Michiganders look at the devil in surprise. “Well, don’t ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean. The Lions won the Super Bowl!”





Mendalla
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 8:36:30 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 4/23/2014
Posts: 411
Location: Somewhere amongst the trees
fuzzy1954 wrote:



Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, “What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?”

The two guys reply, “Well, you know, we’re from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know.”

The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, “It’s awfully hot down here, can’t you guys feel that?”

Again, the guys reply, “Well, like we told you yesterday, we’re from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We’re just happy to warm up a little bit, you know.”

The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Michigan and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. “Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves.”

The two Michiganders reply, “Well, ya know, we don’t get too much warm weather up there in Michigan, we’ve just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice.”

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 Michiganders. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. “I don’t understand. When I turn the heat up, you’re happy. Now it’s freezing cold, and you’re happy. What is wrong with you two?”

The Michiganders look at the devil in surprise. “Well, don’t ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean. The Lions won the Super Bowl!”



The Ontario version ends with the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup, but otherwise you'd just need to do a find and replace on the location.glasses8

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gypsy
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 11:43:36 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 10/13/2010
Posts: 1,569
In a small town - somewhere in the country side - there was a family with two boys, age 8 and 10. And whenever there was mischief, it's most likely these two boys were at the center of it. The parents were at a loss what to do about it. They tried everything!

One day a new pastor came to town. He was a rather young man who travelled the world and was supposed to be great with straightening out kids. It wasn't a church the parents went to, but they were desperate so they gave him a call anyway and begged him to help them with their two boys.

"Okay" he said: "But I won't see them at the same time. First send me the youngest one. I'll see him tomorrow at 10:00 am." So the parent agreed and sent the youngest one over first.

The younger boy went to the pastor, wondering what would happen this time. He was sent into an empty room with only one chair. So he sat down and waited. When finally the pastor came in, he walked over to the boy and stared at him for quite some time. Then he asked with a rather loud voice: "Where is God?"

The boy just sat there and didn't even blink. So the pastor asked again, while staring at the boy: "Where is God?" Again the boy didn't respond at all.

So the pastor came really close to the boy and asked up close for the third time: "Where is God?"
Just then the boy jumped up and ran out of the room before the pastor could say anything else. The boy ran down the block straight home. He ran straight up the stairs and fled to his room. The older boy saw his younger brother almost flying into his room and wondered what was going on. So he went up there and found his brother hiding under his bed.

He kneeled down to ask him what was going on.

"We're really in troubled this time, brother!" he answered: "God is gone and they think we did it ..."




The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. Junius



rune
Posted: Saturday, January 12, 2019 4:18:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/3/2013
Posts: 273
Location: On top of manzanitas tree




RuNe'S DooDLiNG iN THe SaNDS

Ballerina & Meg's Sonnet a collaboration with LarryFNigh
The Feast Of All Saints a collaboration with Meredith
Burnt Toast a collaboration with Fuzzy1954
The Autumn a collaboration with ChrisM

My wandering crazy mind is just doodling in the sands ~ RuNe
gypsy
Posted: Sunday, January 13, 2019 1:32:10 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 10/13/2010
Posts: 1,569
Ghost Photography

An enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom that lived in the spooky old mansion house at the edge of town.

When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, moaning and wailing and clanking chains.

"I mean no harm; I just want your photograph," the journalist said bravely.

Pleased at this chance to make headlines, the ghost posed for a number of shots, and the happy journalist rushed back to his darkroom and began developing the photos.

Unfortunately, they turned out to be so underexposed that nothing could be seen in them.

He was distraught, and went to a local pub to drown his sorrows. Meeting his friends there, they asked what was wrong. Not wanting to tell the whole story, he simply explained with a single sentence: ......

"The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak."




The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. Junius



Circle_Something
Posted: Tuesday, January 15, 2019 1:14:18 AM

Rank: Forum Facilitator

Joined: 8/11/2012
Posts: 1,965
Location: Kissing Her Slowly, Glasgow-ish, United Kingdom
Me: I'm having a great day, apart from Newpussycat.
Friend: What's Newpussycat?
Me: Whoaah Whoaah Whooaaah!


Ghosts, flamingos, guitars and vodka. Don't forget Kitty and Kitten. Eclectic subjects, eccentric stories:

Humorous guide & Recommended Read =^.^= How To Make a Cup of Tea
A flash fiction series :) A Random Moment in Time
A love poem <3 Kitty & Kitten
Editors' Pick! :D I Am The Deep, Dark Woods
And another EP!: The Fragility of Age
=^.^= <3 ^.^

The_Original_Shyboy
Posted: Wednesday, February 6, 2019 9:22:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/15/2015
Posts: 983
Location: United Kingdom


Quote:
You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it - Robin Williams

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